The family, at the heart of social life
One of the few features shared by all Borneans is the family's central role in daily life. In Peninsular and East Malaysia, Kalimantan and Brunei Darussalam, the family is the unshakeable foundation of society. It represents the main nucleus of social life, regardless of ethnic or religious affiliation. The family forms a unit whose interests take precedence over those of the individual. The actions of one of its members can affect a family's image, and thus enhance or damage its reputation in the community to which it belongs. Each individual tries not to "lose face" so as not to bring opprobrium on his family, his community and his country. This concept, which is widespread in Southeast Asia, encourages people not to get angry, to avoid public confrontation and to maintain peaceful relations with everyone. Family members help and support each other, both financially and socially. The head of the household is most often the father, but elders are also highly respected, and are usually in charge of important family affairs. Families generally include three or four generations living under the same roof, and couples generally wish to have many children. This practice is gradually fading in Malaysia's urban areas, where the couple tends to become the main structure, as younger generations possess an increasingly individual and "Westernized" mentality. Outside the cities, the concept of family often includes members of the extended family (uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, etc.). The various members of a family gather in their home village for important religious and calendar festivals, as well as for significant family events (weddings, births, deaths). The Dayak family structure is slightly different, however. They share their traditional house, the longhouse, with the whole community. This "village house", which can sometimes house over a hundred people under the same roof, is a long building on stilts, with a long common room running through it, and separate rooms for each household. Dayak families are traditionally very close-knit. The tribal chief, who lives in the center of the longhouse, has decision-making powers over various aspects of community life, including respect for traditions and customs, religious ceremonies and conflict resolution.
Wedding
While traditions differ according to the ethnic and religious background of families, getting married and having children represents the culmination of a lifetime. Men often opt for a younger wife to increase their chances of having numerous offspring, and polygamy still exists in some parts of the island. Inter-ethnic marriages are rare, and unions between people of different faiths even more so. In fact, the Indonesian Supreme Court banned marriages between people of different religions in 2023. Urban Malaysians generally marry after completing their studies. A union between two Malaysians is usually the result of a romantic relationship, but sometimes parents arrange marriages for their children. Other communities try to perpetuate their traditions as far as possible. Traditionally, Indian parents of the same caste, or of equivalent social and economic status, arrange the union of their children. Above all, an Indian wedding involves an alliance between two families to form a larger, stronger entity. At the end of the ceremony, the new wife leaves the family cocoon and goes to live with her husband's family, where she will be responsible for running the household. Among the Dayak, it's the groom who leaves his longhouse to move into the bride's community. The Chinese are generally more focused on professional success and the smooth running of the family business. Their dedication to work is often to the detriment of the family, and marriage takes a back seat.
Education
Throughout the island, children's education is highly valued. It begins in the family, where traditional community values and respect for elders are instilled. School is compulsory for all children in Malaysia, Indonesia and Brunei.
Malaysia. Public schooling is free and compulsory for the first 11 years of schooling, 6 years in elementary school and 5 in secondary school, the equivalent of our junior high schools. The SPM(Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) diploma, the equivalent of the French baccalaureate, is awarded on completion of studies, enabling those who wish to pursue higher education to do so. East Malaysia has two public universities,Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS) andUniversiti Malaysia Sabah (UMS). In theory, the education system guarantees equal opportunities. In practice, however, there is community segregation, and problems linked to the languages used for teaching. Mastery of the English language is seen as an undeniable advantage by parents wishing to optimize their offspring's professional opportunities. Children from the wealthier classes attend international schools. The Chinese community has its own school network where Mandarin is taught systematically, and which is attended by the majority of children of Chinese origin. Indians also have a few private schools. Among Borneo's indigenous ethnic groups, their culture and traditions are still passed on to younger generations orally.
Kalimantan. Throughout Indonesia, schooling is compulsory for the first 9 years (6 years in elementary school and 3 in secondary school). With a predominantly Muslim population, Koranic schools(pesantren) play an important role in children's education, especially in remote areas. Religious education is compulsory from primary school onwards. The Indonesian government grants advantages to Muslim students, including educational scholarships, bank loans and easier access to housing. This favoritism arouses indignation among residents of Chinese and Indian origin, who are unfairly considered second-class citizens.
Brunei Darussalam. Since January 2013, Islamic education has been compulsory for all Muslim children aged 7 to 15. Failure to comply with this law entails serious consequences for parents. Other religious practices are not taught in school textbooks, and it is strictly forbidden for non-Muslims to talk about their religion in public. The Sultanate's government also tends to favor Muslim students to the detriment of those from other communities.
