Family life
The family unit is the most important group to which a Sri Lankan belongs. The general interests of the family come before those of the individual, and close relatives will always be favored, whether for a professional position, a favor, or in a dispute... The actions of a single family member can influence, positively or negatively, the way the family is perceived by the community. The division of roles in the home often follows a traditional pattern: the father is in charge of income while the wife is responsible for domestic affairs. While both have a great deal of authority in the home, the final decision in important matters almost always rests with the patriarch. The family is almost sacred in Sri Lanka and it is common practice to bring up these topics at the outset, so do not be surprised or offended if people are curious about you.
Birth. The birth of a new family member, regardless of religious or social background, is always considered a momentous occasion. Festivities where family, neighbors and friends are invited, are organized. The birth of a son is more welcome in traditional and/or rural settings, as a daughter is still a burden for some families. The precise date and time of birth are carefully recorded to determine the child's horoscope, which is supposed to predetermine his or her entire existence. Thus, the horoscope will be read by an astrologer at birth, at puberty and for any other important decisions in the child's life (exams, employment, spouse compatibility, etc.). Birthdays are also an important milestone and are celebrated with fervor.
Marriage is an important moment in the life of every Sri Lankan. Marriages are most often arranged by the parents, who take into account several criteria such as caste, ethnicity, religion, horoscope and, as in India, the dowry to be paid by the bride's family. The different religious communities follow their own rituals but, in order to preserve "social order and fabric", agree on some essential points: the future wife must be a virgin before marriage, the spouses must be from the same ethnic group, the same caste, the same religious obedience and have a more or less identical social status. The marriage of a man and a woman is above all the marriage between two families. The festivities surrounding the ceremony must be flashy and flamboyant, in order to impress family, distant cousins, friends, neighbors and vague acquaintances... A Sinhalese wedding sometimes counts more than 300 guests, and so much the worse if the family of the bride, who takes care of the expenses, has to go into debt for 5 years... Her reputation is at stake! Generally, the bride lives in the house of her husband and his parents and family. In Sri Lanka, social and professional connections between the families of the bride and groom are favored. However, there is an increase in "love marriages" among the younger generation. The newlyweds often come from the same religious community and generally have similar socio-economic status. Even so, it is common for the man to be slightly more qualified, educated and older than the woman.
The poruwa ceremony, an ancient tradition dating back to 300 BC, is the culmination of a traditional Sinhalese wedding. The poruwa is a wooden platform adorned with gilding and decorations, sometimes topped with a silk parasol. The bride and groom, dressed in traditional robes, walk onto the poruwa together, facing the audience divided in two, with the groom's family on one side and the bride's on the other. They then begin a succession of precise rituals assisted by their parents, and then the "bridesmaids" begin a song to bring them luck. The poruwa ceremony ends when the bride and groom light an oil lamp together, the fire symbolizing their love that will burn forever.
Funerals. Each religious community has its own funeral rites. It is customary for Buddhists and Hindus to cremate the deceased, while Muslims and Christians prefer burial. It should be noted that these rites are not strictly followed, it happens that a Buddhist is buried or a Christian is cremated. With the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, the government has imposed mandatory cremation on March 31, 2020. Finally, if you pass through a village decorated with white cloth during your stay, you should know that this color is also used by Buddhists for funerals.
Sexuality
Sri Lankan society is extremely prudish when it comes to sexuality. Sexual relations are still exclusively reserved for marriage, regardless of community or social class. A woman must be "respectable" before marriage, so premarital virginity is essential. Thus, it is almost impossible for a woman who has lost her virginity to find a husband. Similarly, extra-marital sexual relations are very badly perceived and can lead to a woman being excluded from her family and her community... The fact that a fringe of Sri Lankan youth goes abroad to study contributes to changing attitudes. In Colombo, for example, while young couples do not go out in public, people prefer to turn a blind eye to the fact that they spend weekends in the hotels of Mount Lavinia, the chic seaside resort on the southern outskirts of the city, where rooms are rented to accommodate budding or short-lived love affairs.
Abortion. Abortion is illegal in the country, although there are some exceptions when the mother's health is at risk. Some women who were victims of sexual violence sometimes resorted to clandestine abortions, which could be dangerous to their health. In fact, births outside of marriage are considered an abjection by society, which can sometimes lead to tragedies such as suicide or infanticide.
Contraception. After a long period of being allowed only for married couples, contraception is now available to all in Sri Lanka. Condoms are readily available in most pharmacies, although this is still frowned upon by the more conservative.
Homosexuality. Homosexuality is prohibited in Sri Lanka and can be punishable by up to 10 years' imprisonment. Sections 365 and 365A of the Sri Lankan Penal Code prohibit "carnal intercourse against the order of nature" and "gross indecency between persons," thus officially criminalizing homosexual relations between consenting adults, even in the private sphere. While such penalties are rare, they allow for strong discrimination against the LGBTQI+ community, with police crackdowns that can even go as far as torture according to Human Rights Watch. Sexual minorities in the country face issues of homophobia but also suffer from a lack of positive media coverage. The most privileged members of these minorities often decide to leave the island and move abroad to escape these problems. Sexual minority rights groups have been formed and, to raise awareness of the issue, the LGBTQI+ community has organized its annual Gay Pride in Mount Lavinia, south of Colombo, since 2005, including a kite flying competition. The overall situation is gradually improving with the influence of the younger generations who are changing attitudes. Interestingly, Sri Lanka was voted Asia's emerging travel destination in 2019 by Travel Lemming, a gay-friendly travel site.
Women's place
In 1960, Sri Lanka was the first country in the world to elect a woman as Prime Minister: Sirimavo Bandaranaike. Yet today, women are poorly represented in government, with Sri Lanka having the lowest female political participation in Southeast Asia, with representation in Parliament never exceeding 6 per cent. The free education promoted in 1945 helped to reduce gender inequalities. In 1946, Sri Lankan women's literacy rate was 44 per cent and men's was 70 per cent, compared to 90 per cent for women and 93 per cent for men today. However, due to the weight of traditional Sri Lankan society, educational and professional opportunities for women are largely dependent on their social background. The Sri Lankan conflict has had particularly devastating consequences for women, especially those who lost their husbands during the war. In addition, the militarization of society has contributed to the aggravation of various types of violence against women, especially Tamil women. International organizations have reported an increase in domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape. In addition, women victims of sexual violence are often ostracized from society because they are a disgrace to their families and communities. Although several government actions have been taken in favor of women in recent years, attitudes in Sri Lankan society are slowly changing, especially in rural areas.
Professional life
Work. In 2022, the average monthly salary is about Rs 48,000 (€208) and the minimum wage, imposed since 2013, is Rs 12,500. Sri Lankan workers earning less than Rs 20,000 per month and pensioners with small incomes are often forced to hold down several jobs. Families with low incomes are entitled to a monthly government grant of Rs 750. Citizens over 70 years of age are eligible for a monthly government assistance payment of Rs 2,000 if they have no other income. Unfortunately, this assistance is insufficient and a majority of these elderly people are dependent on their children, who are themselves often in financial difficulty.
Retirement. The retirement age is 55 for men and 50 for women. In 1815, civil servants working for the British Crown were the first employees in the country to receive a pension. Public sector employees must have worked for the government for at least 10 consecutive years to receive a payment from the Department of Pensions. Since 1958, private sector employees have contributed to a different pension fund, the Employee's Provident Fund. To build up the pension capital, 8% of salary is deducted and the company contributes 12%. Private pension systems provide a more comfortable retirement for the more privileged who can contribute more. Farmers, fishermen, tea plantation workers and the self-employed have a special scheme.
