The family as the foundation of social life
Traditionally, several generations live together under the same roof. The older ones are not isolated and have close relationships with the younger ones. While this is still true in the mountains and remote villages, families are more fragmented in the cities. Many have moved down from the mountains to take up jobs on the coast. Some young people leave the island to pursue studies on the mainland and never return, except for the holidays. If the family remains the unshakeable social pillar, it is nevertheless surprising to note that Sardinia is the Italian region with the lowest birth rate. The social life is punctuated by the religious calendar, the numerous patronal celebrations, the weddings, the births and the deaths. On a daily basis, the locals meet in the public squares, on the shady benches or on the terraces of the cafés. At siesta time, the streets are deserted, before coming alive again for the passeggiata, the evening aperitif walk. It is enough to stroll through the streets of the towns and villages to embrace the Sardinian sociability in no time. Everyone seems to know each other, stops to chat with a friend or a neighbor, the generations mingle in a feeling of good humor.
The 3 M
The Sardinians like to say that the "3Ms" melt in a crucible to form the foundation of their lives. But what do these mysterious M's represent? First of all, the Madonna. Religion has an important place in Sardinia. Every village has a church, if not several, chapels have been erected in the countryside on pagan places of worship, calvaries stand at the crossroads. As the mother of Christ, messenger of God, the Virgin has a special status in Sardinia. She is de facto the mother of all Christians. It is to her that the Sardinians turn to implore a miracle, to ask for a grace, to beg for a piece of benevolence. On the occasion of August 15, the ferragosto in Italian, many towns and villages set off fireworks, give concerts, and organize events to mark the occasion. The most beautiful celebration is given in Sassari on the evening of August 14th. The inhabitants gather in procession for the Descent of the Candlesticks in Piazza Castello. Illuminated wooden candles, topped with pennants and ex-voto are carried to the church of Santa Maria di Betlem to renew the vow made to the Virgin who saved the city from the plague. As always, the Sardinians mix religiosity and magic, religion and legend. The second M pays tribute to the mamma. The mother has the leading role in the family. If the father holds the authority over the family circle, the mother is in charge of the education of the children, to lavish them with love and benevolence. She has the role of nurturer. If St. Peter sits at the right hand of God to benefit from eternal happiness, the mamma sits at the right hand of the Madonna in the collective imagination. Just as the Virgin watches over the believers with kindness, the mamma watches over her little ones with tenderness. The third M refers to food, eating, mangiare. Meals cement the members of the same family. The content of the plate is just as important as the act of sharing the meal. The whole family gathers around the table to share the mother's cooking - always delicious. They talk about their day, the small and big events of the community.
Marriage
The union of a man and a woman is still considered the most sacred act of a lifetime. The rite has lost many of its traditional specificities, but marriage is still an end in itself: to found a home, to perpetuate the lineage. Many customs and superstitions are linked to the event. Young unmarried women used to place three beans under their pillow on the eve of Saint John's Day (June 24). The first one was full, the second one half-shelled and the third one completely shelled. When she woke up, the young woman would draw a bean at random. The result indicated the wealth status of her future husband. The marriage proposal and wedding followed a very precise, long and codified ritual. When a young man wished to marry, he first had to obtain his father's consent. Once he had given his consent, he would go to the parents of the bride to propose. This was followed by an abstract dialogue between the two fathers, in which the name of the girl was not mentioned, but in which they talked about taking a perfectly beautiful heifer to graze in new fertile pastures. If the girl's father agreed, the amount of the transaction(segnali) was then fixed, as well as the date of its delivery. On the day, the father of the bridegroom would then go to the girl's house, accompanied by selected relatives and friends, along with the agreed gifts. The family of the bride was barricaded in the house and had to wait until the family of the bridegroom had gathered the inhabitants of the village before opening their door. Gifts could be given to the bride's family and a meal was held where both families sat at the same table. This ceremony made the future alliance between the two families public. The wedding could only take place after the trousseau had been completed and transported. The bridegroom would arrive on a horse and be followed by a sufficient number of wagons at his bride's house. Each element was scrupulously studied, shown and placed in the carts: furniture, kitchen utensils, sheets, wheat. The millstone always occupied the last cart, while the jug that the bride-to-be would use to draw water was placed on a cushion carried by the most beautiful girl in the village. The families of the bride and groom would then go in a noisy and colorful procession to the groom's home. The carts were emptied, the furniture put in place in the house. The wedding ceremony could then be held. It took place in the bride's village. The bridegroom was accompanied by the priest of his village. After much weeping and wailing, the young woman was blessed by her mother and given to the priest of the husband, while the bride was given to the priest of the wife. The two families went separately to the church, preceded by a brass band. At the end of the ceremony, the guests went to the wife's house for the wedding meal. The bride and groom were seated side by side for the first time and shared a soup served on a single plate and with a single spoon. At a given signal, the bride was seated on a caparisoned horse driven by the groom's best man. The two families followed the bride to her new home in procession, two by two. When the bride arrived at her new home, the mother-in-law would distribute the grazia (grace) by pouring a few drops of water in the courtyard of the house and by throwing handfuls of a mixture of wheat, salt and sugared almonds. The bride would then kiss the hands of her husband's parents as a sign of respect before being led into the bridal chamber. A new feast was held in the evening, where the bride and groom ate again from the same plate and with the same cutlery. This was followed by a ball with traditional music and songs. Today, the marriage ceremony is greatly simplified and follows Western rites. Nevertheless, every year, the village of Selargius celebrates a union according to the traditional rites in September.
The place of women
Sardinia is not Sicily! The responsibility of the financial support of the family is carried as much by the man as by the woman. It is the same for the important decisions concerning the family. It is also said that it is the women who take care of the "business" and manage the affairs and accounts. Unlike the rest of Italy, the distribution of responsibilities and tasks is more balanced between the spouses. Many women work and contribute to the household income. They are even slightly more numerous to hold a job than men in Sardinia. Is this new life, more turned towards the outside, likely to explain the low birth rate in Sardinia? It is the foreign women who participate the most in the renewal of the population, with a birth rate twice superior to the one of the Sardinian women.
Sardinia has known some emblematic female personalities. The first of them lived in the time of the Judicats. Eleonora of Arborea marked her experience of the power promulgating the first civil code of the island. It was not until 1827 that the Code of Savoy replaced the Carta de Logu established in 1392. The only Nobel Prize won by a Sardinian was by a woman, Grazia Deledda. Born in 1871 into a middle-class family in Nuoro, she did not even finish primary school, which was common for girls at the time. Nevertheless, she started to write at a very young age and published her first texts at 17. To everyone's surprise, she was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1927, for her work tinged with love, pain and death that clash with sin and fatality. Maria Carta revealed Sardinian music on the international scene. As a folk singer in the 1970s, she intertwined the traditional sounds of her native island with personal contemporary compositions that took her from the Avignon Festival to New York, via San Francisco. She also had a short career as an actress. Francis Ford Coppola spotted her and retained her for the role of Vito Corleone's mother in The Godfather II.
